Film Fridays | "Let It Snow" is not your average Christmas rom-com
(11/30/19 2:17am)
Editor’s note: This review contains spoilers.
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Editor’s note: This review contains spoilers.
I’m no movie expert, but I know this much: When it comes to making a film about a national tragedy that robbed nearly 3,000 people of their lives, spawned wars, shaped both foreign and domestic policy for years and still looms as a vindictive colossus over the memories of millions, one must take special care.
“Interstellar” is a new film from director Christopher Nolan starring Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway and Jessica Chastain; a five-star movie in my opinion. The film is a crowning achievement in the sci-fi genre, but one that falls just short of masterpiece status. “Interstellar” deals with such gigantic ideas such as our place in the cosmos, while also contemplating the meaning of human life when our planet cannot sustain us anymore.
"Everybody on the mainland thinks that because I live in Hawaii, I live in Paradise ... Are they insane?"
Since this will probably be the last movie review I write for "The Collegian," I'm deliriously relieved that I get to tell you about a very good film. I'm talking, of course, about "50/50."
I'm starting to wonder if Hollywood film reviewers are being paid to say that movies this year are decent when they're actually so boring it's almost criminal that someone funded the making of them. Or maybe these critics are seeing director's cut versions of the films, since most reviewers watch films together in separate theaters from the general public. Either way, "Moneyball" is god-awfully boring and anyone who says differently is probably a fan of Major League Baseball.
The movie "Drive" follows a character who is based on a superman-type persona, barely speaks and is also as awkward as Ryan Gosling's character in "Lars and the Real Girl." Sure, he's a stoic superhero with a secret identity but he's also awkward, makes strange decisions and gets involved with really obvious crime kingpins. And instead of flying faster than a speeding bullet and leaping tall buildings, his superpowers include driving getaway cars and invisibility.
Do not touch your face while you read this. Seriously. You're doing it now, aren't you? Well, congratulations. You're going to die of pig-bat flu and then coroners are going to find green sludge in your brain during your autopsy and everyone you have ever stared at is going to die too. Are you proud of yourself?
Every movie you've ever seen exists in its own universe. "Star Wars," "Steel Magnolias," "Pirates of the Caribbean" - they all created a world in which they could reasonably function.
Tina Fey and Steve Carell are a boring married couple that, on a Mark Ruffalo fear-inspired whim, goes to a restaurant, steals someone's reservation and ends up being chased by crooked cops. Then there's a car chase that's pretty fantastic and a pole-dancing scene that made me laugh until I cried.
The evil runt twin of the movie "300" and "Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief" got together and made a baby named "Clash of the Titans." It is also an example of why Hollywood's sudden obsession with the quick, easy and cheap version of 3D will fail miserably if studios apply the method to every movie they shove out into theaters.
So here's the deal: I'm still a kid at heart. The rest of the University of Richmond student population could claim they wanted to grow up, be mature, yada-yada, and I would still say that I love cartoons, love these new CGI animated movies, and that I especially love "How to Train Your Dragon."
The guys who seem as if they've popped up in every Judd Apatow or similar comedy movie for the last five years have suddenly been cast in a movie about a hot tub time machine. In it, three broken, grown-up dudes and one nerdy teenager get transported back to the '80s by said time machine and have to change their crappy lives.
Jennifer Aniston: "Oh my God, can you believe, like, how intolerable he is?"
Life is meaningless. The world is a conglomerated mess where make-me-buy-what-I-don't-need-and-can't-afford advertising is inescapable - a doubly wrinkled brain that is too complex to be blissful - and people are basically bags of meat with sob stories. Oh, and metal parts are rent-to-buy, at the expense of your children's college funds. But, then again, everything's meaningless, right? That is, at least until you find out you're dying.
Ogden Marsh, Iowa, is a calm, idyllic farm town. The main street wanders off into the cornfields, barely reaching the quaint, burnable farmhouses that are too far away from each other to offer a sense of community in trying zombie times. In short, Ogden Marsh is two breaths from dropping dead and rising up again even before the zombies show up.
Sanity is circular. At some point, even those deemed insane can start to sound normal again and normal people can start to sound mad. That's what "Shutter Island" is like, and it spins that sanity wheel over and over like a hamster stuck in a cage.
Hollywood never shies away from rewriting a good idea, and who can blame it? The stories are already written, mostly, and the ones worth remaking are going to bring in enough cash to make the embarrassingly horrible ones worth it. Sometimes the gamble works -- as it did for Emma Thompson's "Sense and Sensibility" or the Batman movies featuring Christian Bale. But most of the time, remakes are so awkwardly bad that they are hilarious -- as is the case with "Spiderman 3" (you know it was terrible) or "Zathura," that movie about Jumanji in space.
Yes, "Legion" is another one of those apocalyptic fear trains that Hollywood seems to be running these days, especially in preparation for 2012. God is coming and he's ticked.
I went to two Christian middle schools, and had to go to church every single Wednesday. My visits to church included two hours of singing and listening to sermons and studying the back of the head of the person in front of me. "The Book of Eli" was like a slow version of church,