The Collegian
Thursday, October 29, 2020

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Students discuss sex, love and what men want

Have you ever wondered what men are thinking? A meeting hosted by the resident assistants of Freeman, Robins and Jeter halls gave students a chance to ask.

Students were invited to ask a panel of eight males and one female all their burning questions in the Whitehurst Living Room at 9 p.m. Wednesday. The panel included students Kiki Teshome Mebatsion, Brandon Cieniewicz, Michele Baker, Kevin Grayson, David Whitehead, Gui Annunciacao, Keon Piper and Terance Trammell.

"We tend to lump people together," said Jan French, moderator and assistant professor of anthropology. "Girls think that way and guys think this way. One of the goals of anthropology is to get an idea that we are all individuals."

The answers to the questions proved that theory. The panel's answers to about 30 mostly female students either wildly differed or were conditional on the status of the relationship. There were no concrete answers provided; instead answers were subject to the person, subject and situation.

When asked what he looked for in a partner, Grayson responded he needed someone with a lot of personality who liked to have fun.

Said Piper: "I don't like a girl who is wilder than me because then I'd be scared."

Everyone panelist agreed that it was important they could trust their partner.

When a student asked how long into a relationship members of the panel began to think about marriage and kids, the audience and panel members sighed loudly.

Baker said that if she wanted to talk about the future with her partner she would, but usually wasn't thinking about it.

Next, the panel talked about sex and how long they would be willing to wait. Most agreed that they would wait as long as it took if they really liked the person. It also depended on what kind of relationship they were looking for.

"Anticipation is the key to great sex," Piper said.

"Why do men cheat?" asked a member of the audience.

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The audience and panel decided that it wasn't just men who cheated, and the cheating probably came from there being something missing in the relationship. One possibility: The woman isn't there for the guy and someone else is. Piper worried that cheating could lead to problems other than heartbreak.

"Yeah, I've been faithful," Piper said, "but why am I burning?" could be a potential problem to infidelity and is a reason he asked women and men not to cheat.

The group also discussed why they often don't call a woman after meeting her at a party. Some suggested that they simply don't remember meeting the woman, or don't know what the number was stored as in their phones. Or, they're just not that into her.

Teshome said it was OK for a woman to call a man every once in a while.

Also discussed were interracial relationships, why women go for the bad guys and what makes a man choose a woman to dance with at the fraternity lodges.

Contact staff writer Alexandra Varipapa at alexandra.varipapa@richmond.edu

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