The Collegian
Monday, June 01, 2020

Letter: Pies for Charity

Ladies and gentlemen, don't miss the "Pies for Charity" event from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. Monday, March 30 in the Forum. This stellar, campus-wide event, hosted by Richmond College Residence Life, will be the center of attention on campus this coming Monday.

You might ask, "What is Pies for Charity and what is it all about?" Firstly, it supports the nonprofit organization, Church Hill Activities and Tutoring (CHAT), which is situated in the inner city of Richmond. CHAT is an upstanding organization, which sustains the goal of creating and sustaining "intentional communities that are dedicated to transforming the lives of at-risk youth in Church Hill."

So, take a breath on Monday, quit the hustle and bustle of Richmond for a few minutes and come take part in the entertainment.

There will be various faculty, administrators and student representatives of numerous clubs and organizations ready to make the bold stand for CHAT and have a fun and lighthearted afternoon. There WILL most definitely be RAs present too! This is your chance to take revenge on the RA who has ruined your fun and shenanigans. You can come out, take that whipped cream pie and slam (well maybe not ... but seriously) it into his or her face, while inconspicuously and passive aggressively working that whipped cream deep within the crevices of their eyes, nose and mouth. Believe me, this is sweet revenge if I could say so myself. Just pray for a warm and humid day so that the participants sitting in those chairs on Monday, getting pies pushed into their faces, will reek of sour milk for days. No long shower, shampoos or soaps can exonerate this stench.

Professor Hoyle's submitted this challenge: "It is my unbiased opinion that my accounting classes have more spirit, more energy and more pie-throwing ability than the accounting classes taught by Dr. Mary 'Life Lesson' Middleton. I believe (heck, I know) that my classes can and will raise more money hitting their professor in the face with a pie than her classes can possibly even think of raising. That's because the students in my class have all been through Hell and survived (well, so far). By now, they are practically hardened criminals so a little pie throwing should be a snap for them. My students have not had any sugary life lessons to ease them through the difficulties of life. By this time of the year, they resemble the cast of 'The Night of The Living Dead.' You can look them in the eye every day in class and realize that they would love to hit me with a lot of things having much more substance than a pie. There's no chance they'll pass up this opportunity. I guarantee that we will raise more money from my classes than the classes taught by Dr. Mary 'Be Good Girls and Boys' Middleton."

Dr. Middleton's students, get your "pie-throwing arms" ready and come on out to this showdown! There will likely be CHAT representatives and kids at the event. For more information or to get your organization involved, contact me, Grant Weaver, at grant.weaver@richmond.edu.

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