The Collegian
Friday, February 23, 2024

Ask Eric: Ketchup and water fountains

<p>Eric Bossert is the writer behind "Ask Eric," The Collegian's advice column.&nbsp;</p>

Eric Bossert is the writer behind "Ask Eric," The Collegian's advice column. 

Hello all,

It is another beautiful Tuesday afternoon, so I am back to give answers to questions you did not know you had. I think my favorite part of answering these questions is that you guys are willing to pose almost anything. There have been philosophical questions, questions about love and a surprisingly large amount of questions about food. A reminder -- if you have anything you want to ask me, send an email, fill out the form, comment on the Collegian Instagram, and I will get back to you next Tuesday. With that out of the way, let’s get to the questions.

Does the Tyler's ketchup "hit harder" in your experience?

I have found in my time at the University of Richmond that the ketchup at Tyler’s does indeed “hit harder” than other forms of ketchup. I am not entirely sure what it is about it, but having fries from Tyler’s without the ketchup packet just seems wrong. Maybe there is more vinegar in the packages than when it is poured from a bottle. Perhaps it is just the love we all share for the Santa Fe wrap that makes the ketchup all the better. Who’s to say, but regardless, this ketchup hits harder than Conor McGregor.

Rank the school's water fountains.

While I will not have the time to go to every water fountain in this school and then report back with my findings with the exact coordinates of each, I can give you a brief ranking of the water fountains I have used. 

The best water fountains by far are at the gym. This is probably biased because every time I use them, I really need water, but hey, you asked me, so I get to give the answers. I would then rank the water fountains in Jepson and the b-school as tied for second. Maybe it’s all the money that flows through these programs, but the water fountains are phenomenal, and I almost feel bad not using a Hydro Flask for them. In last place is most definitely Gottwald water fountains. All the ones I use almost require you to kiss the nozzle to get any water -- gross. Additionally, I cannot for the life of me get anything better than lukewarm for the fountains there. I also have a strong nagging feeling in the back of my mind that someone has touched these fountains after working with some weird fungus. This is not true, but it haunts me nonetheless.  

The Pier or The Current?

I would say that I prefer The Pier to The Current. This is for two reasons. One, there seems always to be construction going on in The Current, and I have no clue what is going to be there from one week to another. Two, so many great performances happen in The Pier. For example, in the not-too-distant future the Sirens Christmas concert will take place in The Pier featuring all the a cappella groups on campus (Side note -- I will not take bribes to mention your function in my column, but I do love Reese's Cups, so keep that in mind). Also, The Pier is a great place to meet with friends and do some work while looking out over the lake. I would reevaluate my stance if The Current could keep the same setup for awhile so I can get used to it. 

Well, that is all the questions for this week. If you have any questions, feel free to write to me on my Collegian email or fill out the anonymous form. I will only take questions personally in written form and in quadruplicate. As always, if you have any serious problems, I encourage you to reach out to CAPS. I hope registration goes well for everyone.

Eric Bossert

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