Ask Eric: Thanksgiving and Rickrolling

Editor's Note: Ask Eric is an advice column published every Tuesday. Anonymous questions are taken from this Google form. Questions are also taken both from The Collegian's Instagram, @thecollegianur, and via email, collegianaskeric@gmail.com. 

Hello all, 

As I looked through my question submissions this week, I saw that someone included a link in one of the questions. I don't usually follow the links that people send me through the questions, but today I was feeling adventurous. I followed the link, and it took me to the music video of Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up.” 

Yes, I was rickrolled in 2019. It is back. 

To the person who sent this link, thank you, it made my day to be hit with the sweet tunes of Rick Astley. That being said, I did spit out my water when it started playing, so my arms were a little wet. But besides being thankful for the beautiful dance-pop classic of “Never Gonna Give You Up,” we are approaching one of my favorite holidays of the year, Thanksgiving. While I could go into some historical detail about what the “first Thanksgiving” actually was, I feel that as adults, we can google this and learn the bizarre truths about it. 

No, instead, I will focus on Thanksgiving as I celebrate it. A time to reconnect with family, eat what is likely a year worth of calories, and fall asleep in places in my house that are not made for sleeping. This year I am thankful for my friends, my family and my continued good health. Here's to another year that is full of things to be grateful for! Now, let’s get to the questions. 

It's my last year at UofR, and I want to take this school for all its worth. Which buildings are easiest to climb on top of, and are you interested in joining me on an Oceans 11-style heist of the Business School gold vault (which I am dead certain they have)? 

While I do not suggest anything as dangerous as free climbing to a roof on campus, and I certainly can not speak from experience, specific reliable sources have told me that Dhall and Jepson are the most accessible roofs to get on to. 

As for the secret Business School gold vault, I am certainly intrigued. First, I would like to know if we are thinking of a gold vault akin to Fort Knox, or a gold vault like the pool of gold coins owned by Scrooge McDuck. If it is the latter, I am all in. I suggest we invest in a high-quality drill to enter the vault. Once there, we fill the several Richmond Spider-themed bags with gold coins and then run away. We will then take a helicopter to the Richmond airport, where a private plane will be waiting to take us out of the country. If we are caught, I do not know you. My people will contact your people with the details. 

Which do you think is heavier: the globe at the International Center or the Robins statue outside Weinstein? 

I would guess that of the two, the globe would be heavier. To me, it just looks a lot bigger. 

I am not sure that I can give any more of an answer to this, so here is a fun fact about the Earth! Did you know that the mass of the Earth is estimated to be 5.972X10²⁴ kilograms? That is almost as much turkey as I plan to eat this Thanksgiving. Isn’t nature amazing! 

Is it worth trying to fall back in love if a relationship isn’t working? 

I believe that this answer depends on the reason that the relationship isn’t working in the first place. Any sort of relationship that you feel you are forced to stay in for any reason, whether it is time put in, money, or anything else, is not healthy and should be ended. However, if it is a relationship you want to be in and you want to put in the effort to fix it, you should. 

I believe relationships are not like they are in movies. They take work; they have ups and downs; love does not necessarily feel the same your entire life. For many of us who are still young, we have no experience with what it is like to spend large amounts of time committed to one person. So, when the honeymoon phase wears off and you are left with your significant other as they are, you need to ask yourself, are you happy? 

Relationships can be hard, but they should not be unpleasant. The final question to ask yourself is whether you are trying to fix the relationship because you want to be with that particular person, or are you trying to fix it only because you want to be in a relationship. You are not doing yourself or your significant other any favors in repairing a relationship based on the latter. Being single can be scary, especially after a long relationship. However, happy and alone should always be put over dating and miserable. 

Well, that is all for me this week. I am off to make my editors spend their hard-earned breaks creating a readable column out of this monstrosity of written symbols. As always, if you have any serious problems, I urge you to contact CAPS. I hope that you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving, and I will be back next week for the last Ask Eric of the semester.

Sincerely,

Eric Bossert

Contact columnist Eric Bossert at eric.bossert@richmond.edu.