10 Reasons 'We Like Sportz'

Sometimes you'll listen to a song and hear lyrics that describe your exact thoughts, even better than you could have yourself.

This often happens to me, and the same applies to what I read in books and watch in movies. One of my goals as a columnist has been to give people that feeling when they read my weekly ramblings.

But this week, I'm inspired instead of inspiring. The source of my inspiration is a musical group known as The Lonely Island.

Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone and Andy Samberg founded The Lonely Island in 2001. They have been best friends since they went to junior high school together in Berkeley, Calif., and are now writers for "Saturday Night Live," though Samberg's work is primarily as a cast member.

The three of them write the pre-taped SNL Digital Short videos that have been featured on SNL since 2005. On Feb. 10, 2009, The Lonely Island released its debut album, "Incredibad," which includes digital shorts and other musical gems.

One of my favorites is titled "We Like Sportz," the sequel to another video from The Lonely Island called "Just 2 Guyz." They star Schaffer as "Guy No. 1" and Taccone as "Guy No. 2." The 2 Guyz are best friends and avoid Samberg's character, "Steve."

The best way I can describe the video is by borrowing a description from my friend A.J., who thinks Beyonce's "If I Were a Boy" is "everything that's baller about being a boy." To me, "We Like Sportz" represents everything that's baller about being a sports fan.

I would recommend that you all buy the album, which includes the "We Like Sportz" video and a second version that is strictly audio. You can also watch the video on YouTube for free, or you can just read this column as I present my 10 favorite lyrics:

10. "We like sportz and we don't care who knows, from the pregame jokes to the wrap-up show." Here we have the basic theme of this song. They're proud fans who share their love for sports before, during and after games.

9. "E to the S to the P to the N is all I watch 'cause I'm the man." One channel with 24-hour sports coverage? That was a genius plan, and given that this year is ESPN's 30th anniversary, it's particularly appropriate to recognize it.

8. "I'm team captain and I choose you. I'm the other team captain and I choose you, too." Everyone dreads being the last one picked for teams in gym, but if you have a mutual system like this, there's no need to stress. Guy No. 1 and Guy No. 2 capture the camaraderie between sports fans that I love so much.

7. "I got my snacks, my friends and a beer." Never underestimate the power of a good tailgate to improve the game-watching atmosphere. When my family drove to Richmond during Thanksgiving break for the first playoff game, my dad broke speeding laws the entire way down to make sure we had enough time to tailgate.

6. "Now when I say sports, you say nutz. Sportz, nutz, sportz, nutz! Now when I say cheating, you say sux. Cheating, sux, cheating, sux!" If you're going to watch a game with a friend (or honestly, even by yourself), you have to be ready to cheer. Guyz No. 1 and 2 clearly have this part mastered.

5. "Let's scare the other team with our maddog faces like, What what what what what what! What what what what what what!" OK, so it's kind of hard for you to appreciate how funny this lyric is without watching the video, but I think the basic idea still translates -- use any means necessary to intimidate your opponent.

4. "Throw me the baseball. Now toss me the pigskin. Now feed me the rock." When watching most games, fans have to know their sports cliches if they are going to have any chance of understanding the announcers. See "Vitale, Dick."

3. "Watching sportz with girls is a pain. They don't know the rules, there's no time to explain." As a girl, I can't fully agree, but substitute "people with no sports knowledge," and I would. Distractions during game time are never welcome, particularly from someone who doesn't understand how important the game is.

2. "If my team loses, I'll be mean all night. If you tell me to relax, we'll get in a fight." Continuing with the theme of people underestimating the importance of sports, we have this statement that describes me perfectly. Depending on the fan, post-loss depression can last longer than post-win celebration.

1. Guy No. 1: "Do you want to go to a party with me? Guy No. 2: 'No, the game's on.' Guy No. 1: 'Oh, I almost forgot. I'll be right there.'" As if it weren't already clear, Guy No. 2 has the perfect sports-watching attitude, and despite his momentary lapse in judgment, so does Guy No. 1. This is actually the way the song begins, but I thought I'd save the best for last.

For more sports-related videos from The Lonely Island, watch "The Space Olympics." It was the digital short the night that Michael Phelps hosted "SNL" during the season premiere.

The limits on word count for my column kept me from giving you a full analysis. I also think "We Like Sportz" -- which, incidentally, is my new ringtone -- is more appropriate. There are so many songs filling up teams' warm-up mixes that celebrate the athletes, but much rarer are the songs that celebrate the fans.

So go call up your friend and make plans to watch a game. Consider it a trial run. March Madness is just around the corner, and you don't want to be caught unprepared.

Contact sports editor Barrett Neale at barrett.neale@richmond.edu