The Collegian
Monday, August 15, 2022

Too thin: Read this before you vanish into thin air

Do you have a friend who constantly complains about weight, but this friend is one of the skinniest people you know?

Does this friend eat something like three pieces of lettuce with half of a piece of chicken, and call it dinner?

Well here's a reality check for Skin-and-Bones, I mean, your friend: You are NOT overweight! I am almost positive there is nothing but beauty on the outside and inside, even if the inside of your stomach is cold and barren.

Have you taken a look in the mirror recently? If you haven't, no worries, because anyone can tell you that you are 5-foot-7 and 100 pounds. Congratulations.

Now, I am no doctor, but something tells me the American Medical Association doesn't consider those measurements obese. Just a hunch, I guess.

Do you realize how many people are indeed obese, and whose lives depend on their losing weight? I'm talking about people who can barely breathe, because their excess weight is pushing against their lungs. People who cannot walk on their own, whose 400-pound bodies need the assistance of a wheelchair, just to get to the bathroom. People who have been told they won't live to be 40 if they don't shed hundreds of pounds in X amount of time. Now, Skin-and-Bones, you tell me -- do you fall into any of these categories?

Enjoy hearing yourself talk? I think you do, when you say things like: "Oh my God, like, I need to lose weight," "Wow these leggings make me look humongous, don't you think?" and "Are you kidding me? I can't eat dinner! Did you see how big the salad I had for lunch was?!"

I don't know what you truly would like to hear, but I do know a few common responses to these comments -- "Oh Skin-and-Bones, you look so good, you don't need to lose any weight!" "Skin-and-Bones, you look drop dead gorgeous in those leggings!" and "Skin-and-Bones, you need to eat three meals a day!"

I must admit, we walk on eggshells around you, Skin-and-Bones, because we would really like to reply with something along the lines of: "Shut up, skinny bitch," "Shut up, skinny bitch" and "Shut up, skinny bitch."

By no means do I hold any sort of grudges toward you, Skin-and-Bones. I just want you to see what the rest of us see. We see you as a troubled young person who doesn't perceive reality correctly, but for some reason, you see an unattractive and detestable sight when you look in the mirror.

I'm here to tell you that you aren't, but I'm not going to kiss your ass until you gain some self-confidence. So, when you see me in D-Hall with a slice of Oreo cream pie and roll your eyes, notice the smile on my face. I may not weigh 100 pounds, but I am certain that I am happy with myself.

Contact staff writer Kiara Lee at

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