The Collegian
Tuesday, November 28, 2023

One last week with nothing left to lose

Alas, it is the final edition of The Collegian before school ends and everyone goes his or her own way for the summer (but not before going out with a final metaphorical and literal bang at beach week). So, my question for everyone: What do you have to lose?

Richmond is such a small campus that if you do something outrageously mean, slutty, ballsy, fashionably unacceptable or socially shocking in any way, shape or form, the chances of this deviation from the norm following you around via the Richmond gossip mill are pretty high.

But as every celebrity who has ever had a sex tape leaked can tell you, time heals all and everything will blow over -- so why not consider summer as this blow-over period?

Seriously, this is the last time that you are going to be on the Richmond campus with all your friends, enemies, lovers, crushes and dream boys for the next three months, so why not take this opportunity to do something that you've been wanting to do all year?

If you're a senior, you are practically unstoppable. You can flirt with your super hot professor, you can make out with that cute freshman that you can't help but have a baby crush on, you can walk around in a bright orange body suit screaming Taylor Swift at the top of your lungs. Who's going to stop you? You're frickin' untouchable right now, so use this time to do all those outrageous things that your better judgment has stopped you from doing in the past. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE? (Never mind your dignity, good reputation and maybe some dining dollars.)

And for once, let's take my article out of the sexual tension, social awkwardness and Richmond behavioral realm and apply it to other things besides how to get that uber-attractive senior to make out with you before you leave for just a hot minute.

Richmond is a great city -- go to that restaurant you've been meaning to visit, go to the VMFA, take a jog down the James River, explore an area of Richmond that you've avoided for years because you're too much of a creature of habit-- It's your last chance to explore for the next three months.

This week, I plan on walking right up to a certain boy and telling him he is the biggest d-bag in the history of man for screwing over my friend. I plan on setting the ground work for my ideal beach week bad decision (I mean hookup). I plan on having the greatest last Wednesday visit with my favorite cocky, yet outrageously attractive lax bro. I plan on telling my roommate to take the plunge and hook up with that super hot guy in her leadership class. I plan on giving as many people hugs as I possibly can. I plan on going to Sweet Frog at least four more times. I plan on pre-gaming my last class of the year. And I plan on potentially streaking. Sayonara, dignity. Helllllllllllo bucket list!

You have four years of college -- four years where the consequences for your actions are pretty slim. Getting hammered, hooking up with someone inappropriate and having photo documentation of it might be a bad Saturday night in college, but it doesn't hold a candle to forgetting to pay your electricity bill, filing your taxes and trying to save up enough money to send your future children to school. So, what is stopping you from taking advantage of this time in your life? Absolutely nothing!

So, put down my article, and if you've ever once considered proposing to me, now is the time!

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