Editor's Note: The Collision is the historically satirical version of The Collegian, appearing as early as the 1930s. The following article is satire and in no way should be viewed as the truth.
The University of Richmond is known for its diverse campus and life-altering study abroad experiences. Today we have a transcript of a recent interview with a UR student after returning from their "life-changing" summer immersion program in Toronto. The name of the student has been redacted, but they will be referred to as WG.
Chris Cassella: Hi, thanks for meeting with me.
WG: Nice weather today, eh?
CC: Uh, yeah, just a nice fall day. Are you from Richmond?
WG: Oh heck no. I’m from upstate New York. The Buffalo area to be more precise.
CC: Very cool, what drew you to Toronto for study abroad?
WG: Well, I really wanted something different, you know? I got tired of life in the States and wanted to experience something new. Bagged milk, a 19-year-old drinking age, Drake: these are things you can’t get from Richmond.
CC: Okay, sure.
WG: I was there for three weeks, by the way. The jetlag was brutal.
CC: Oh, how long was the flight?
WG: From Buffalo only about 20 minutes. But you know the time change was wild.
CC: Toronto is in the same time zone as Buffalo and Richmond.
WG: You wouldn’t get it. Canadian time moves differently.
CC: That’s not how time works but okay.
WG: Look I got more chune for your head top so watch how you speak on my name.
CC: Is that what Drake says at the end of “Fake Love?”
WG: Woah, have you been to Toronto before? How’d you know?
CC: All right. For my own sanity, I just have two more questions.
CC: Who’s your favorite Canadian athlete?
WG: Vince Carter.
CC: He just played on the Raptors. He’s not Canadian.
WG: What’s the next question?
CC: Was it life-changing?
WG: Are you kidding? Yes. I’m a different person. Traveling changes you for the better. I don’t think I would be who I am today without this summer in Canada. I hope that other people have experiences like me, immersion in a different culture, I mean. I see people abroad in the UAE and China and think, “How can that be fun? How can that change you?” That’s why nobody goes there. Look, to go to Canada instead. Maybe Europe but be sure to stay west of Berlin.
WG’s experience is typical for UR students. If campus life is too drab, too regular, then take WG’s advice and go see the world in its entirety, just “not the bad parts that make you sad.”