The Collegian
Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Ask Eric: Goodbyes and Desert Islands

<p>Eric Bossert is the writer behind "Ask Eric," The Collegian's advice column.&nbsp;</p>

Eric Bossert is the writer behind "Ask Eric," The Collegian's advice column. 

Editor's Note: Ask Eric is an advice column published every Tuesday. Anonymous questions are taken from this Google form. Questions are also taken both from The Collegian's Instagram, @thecollegianur, and via email, collegianaskeric@gmail.com. The views and opinions expressed in this article do not reflect those of The Collegian.

Hello all,

Well, here we are, the last week of classes. For some of you, this is the last for the semester, for me and many others, it is the last week of class of our college careers. I can not express how proud I am of all my fellow seniors and all the work they have done. 

Just over the past few days, I have had the pleasure of watching many of my peers receive awards and honors. I myself will have a fairly busy final week, but I hope I will still be able to sleep (though I am not counting on it). With this final week, this will also be my final Ask Eric. 

I wanted to thank all of my readers for interacting with me and giving me a much-needed respite from my school work. I hope that I was able to make you smile, laugh, or maybe I even actually answered a question or two for you. To all the people in The Collegian that have helped me, I am forever grateful for the opportunity to be weird in front of an audience. So with that, one last time, let’s get to the questions.

What are your three desert island items?

This question is the one that shows the deepest workings of my mind. First of all, I would bring a big knife. This can be used for defense, preparing food, making shelter and making other tools. 

Second, I would bring provisions like water and food to keep me going in case I can not find any sustenance myself. Finally, I would bring a backpack full of books. I imagine I will get rather bored when I am not roasting in the sun, so I might as well read all the things I said I was going to and never did. 

If you are thinking, “Eric that is way more than three items,” then you would be right, but you can’t respond to this column, so I will do it anyway.

How are you feeling during your last week of classes? Is it pretty much uneventful? 

Oh no, I am very busy. I am pumping out work as quickly as I can, because, as all of you know, the last week of classes is when lots of things are due. I have a bunch of lab reports, I have to actually write response papers that I haven’t done yet, I have a paper and I need to finish my thesis by the end of this week. 

On top of all this, I was sick over the weekend, so all that work I could have done was replaced with awful headaches and laying in the dark. On the bright side, I am fairly certain that I have a pretty light finals load. 

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How long will you be writing the column?

However long it takes me to answer all the questions I want to today.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

If I had one superpower I would definitely want the ability to control time. This, of course, comes from my innate desire for absolute power. Of all the fundamental aspects of our universe, time may be the least understood and the most powerful. 

What actually happens if time stops, what is moving into the past like, how correct is our concept of time? These questions are what I could answer given the ability to control time. Additionally, if one looks at time as a physical phenomenon, then perhaps my control of time would actually take the form of control of gravity.  

The possibilities are endless, but I know that if I could control time, I would never stress over thesis deadlines again.

Well, that is all for me today. Again I want to thank all of you for letting me answer your questions over this past year. But do not fret, for I have been told that "Ask Eric" will return without me next year. I hope you will all continue to send your questions in so you can get an answer, serious or not. 

I wish you all good luck with exams and papers. I hope you and your families stay healthy and that all your questions find answers. So one last time, goodbye and good luck.

Sincerely,

Eric Bossert

Contact columnist Eric Bossert at eric.bossert@richmond.edu.

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