The Collegian
Thursday, March 28, 2024

Let's talk about sex, baby: Bad Kisser

Dear Sally,

I've started hanging out with this guy who's pretty all-around great ... except he is the worst kisser on the planet. It's like making out with a golden retriever. How can I tactfully get him to slobber a bit less?

- Drowning-in-dribble

Dear Drowning,

I think everybody's had to deal with a spit bath from a bad kisser at one time or another. Luckily, your dude seems to have plenty of redeeming qualities and messy makeouts are totally fixable. First, whip out all your body language tactics - pull slightly away from him and put your hand on his chest so he physically can't jam his tongue down your throat. If he's still not getting it, you might have to be upfront and call him out on it. Try pulling away, wiping your mouth and saying something lighthearted like, "Take it easy there, tiger." Do what you can to reform him, because he seems as if he's worth the extra patience, but no one should have to endure unpleasant makeouts. If he still won't listen even after you outright tell him, it might be time to move on to greener makeout pastures.

Love,

Sally

Inept at getting action or unsure about STDs? E-mail Sally anonymously at sallysexpert@gmail.com.

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