These boots were made for walkin'?

I decided to go home last weekend with the intention of getting some sleep, saving myself an estimated 3,000 extra calories and making significantly better life decisions so that when I woke up on Saturday and Sunday I could look in the mirror and be OK with the person looking back. None of these things would've been accomplished had I stayed at school.

It was a difficult decision to skip Halloween this year since it is one of my favorite holidays, but I made the executive decision to just get in my car and go home to Hagerstown, Md., where the preg teens are many, obesity is the norm, and the people are an all new breed of ugly (probably due to inbreeding) and there is only one Starbucks (THE HORROR, THE HORROR).

So I made my road tunes playlist and got myself pumped for the drive home on Friday until I realized that it was feeling just a bit chillier -- chilly enough that I had to put on a sweater and drive windows-up. Then on Saturday, as I was people-watching at Restore Sanity/ Inspire Fear rally, I realized, with much disdain, that it is officially that time of year ... yes -- boot season is upon us.

Now, I'm just going to go ahead and say that I cry at least three times during acceptable boot-wearing months out of total and utter frustration, and not because I hate boots by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, it's the total opposite, I absolutely adore boots.

I might go as far as to say that I am totally and utterly in love with them. I think that they are the perfect addition to any outfit. They are classy, elegant, easy to wear, comfortable and the most wonderful wintertime accessory that a girl can have. But like many girls out there, I find myself loving something that I just can't have. The fact of the matter is, I want too many pairs of boots that I can't fit into!

It hurts my heart every season that there are very, very, very, few boot options for girls with big calves. Yep, I'm gonna go there ... I have big legs. My mom is from Cuba and my dad is from the Dominican Republic. Sir Mix-A-Lot would be happy to know that red beans and rice didn't miss me.

My butt is large and if my legs were skinny, they would buckle under the weight of my backside, so naturally I find myself walking around with my big-girl legs that I can't seem to get into the boots I want to wear! And maybe this doesn't apply to you, and if it doesn't, then you rock those boots girl because they look great on you!

But I know that I'm not the only one out there struggling to find boots. If you, too, find yourself unable to fit into boots, rest assured, there are others out there ... perhaps we could form a support group. I have had many a discussion with a lovely friend of mine who finds herself in the same position -- some girls rant about boys or school or family life, but we spend time ranting about finding pairs of boots that fit us.

Naturally these rants are followed by Skinny Girl Margs (only 100 calories for a margarita!) so that we can feel better, and with minimal calorie consumption in the hope that we will one day fit into the godforsaken boots that pushed us to the bottle in the first place! There is nothing worse than squeezing your legs into a cute pair of boots, walking five steps and realizing that your feet feel funny because they are not getting any blood circulation since there is NO room for petty things like circulation when it comes to fashion.

And yes, I know the common adage that beauty is pain, but I'm not willing to lose my feet for the sake of wearing those adorable Steve Madden boots that I fell madly in love with at 16 when I realized for the first time that buying boots was always going to be a struggle (no, I'm not bitter at all Steve Madden ... JOKES -- of course I'm bitter!).

I have shopped and shopped and tried on a hilarious number of boots in the search for the perfect boot that gets the job done without risking blood flow to my feet, and I just want to give a bit of hope to all the girls out there that find themselves struggling to get their legs into boots ... I found not one, but two pairs of boots this season that I can comfortably wear for more than 10 steps and I know that it's definitely not because my legs have gotten any smaller.

It is my sincerest hope that this stroke of boot-buying glory is an indication that the world is finally coming to terms with its big-legged inhabitants and making boots for them, too!