I have spent some time poring over both Ms. Hailand's and Ms. Parker's arguments for and against Proclamation Night, yet I feel that there are some key points that have been neglected. The first and rather petty issue I feel I need to address is that I did in fact attend Proclamation Night during my first year and found the event rather perplexing because I do not embody traditional female gender norms.
In both of the letters, the third, fourth and fifth genders are mentioned and spoken of with authority; however, I have the first-hand experience to back it up. I personally do not classify myself as the third gender or what have you, but I do not fit into the neat, little white dress of a box that Westhampton College seems so eager to put me in. I typically have a buzz cut and I always walk around in basketball shorts and a t-shirt — jeans when it gets below forty degrees. Proclamation Night was the first time I had worn a dress since I was ten years old. I am a female. I identify as female, but I refuse to fit into our society's social gender norms because they do not suit me.
I decided to wear a dress at Proclamation Night to fit in and try not to scare people off because I was "different." However, I regret that to this day. The problem with Proclamation Night is not that it is in a chapel — the chapel is a beautiful building — or that it "confers authority on men," while women "proclaim" themselves as Westhampton women. The real problem is that the two ceremonies segregate men and women to such a point that anyone caught in between the two, whether they are butch, femme, third, fourth or fifth gendered, have nowhere to turn. The social pressure to conform to one side of the gender spectrum or the other becomes so unbearable that the butch girl will wear a dress or the feminine man will wear a suit or the person who doesn't fit into either male or female will simply not go and miss the wonderful tradition of being initiated into the university. And this is the greatest tragedy.
Contrary to popular belief there are not simply two sexes or two genders. But let me be clear: sex is the literal, physical traits that a person is born with or feels they were born with, while gender is the way a person represents himself/herself/zeself to the world. And it is the people who fail to fit into culture's binary sexual and gender norms that are forgotten most often. While the coordinate colleges at the University of Richmond are tradition, they are failing to support the people most vulnerable in our society.
However, I am not suggesting we abolish the coordinate college system. That is an impossible goal. I merely hope that the University of Richmond takes steps forward in acknowledging and remedying its shortcomings and lack of support for non-gender binary individuals. These are the people in our society who have the highest rate of experiencing verbal harassment and assault based on their nonconformity to gender norms. These are the people who have the highest rate of suicide amongst their LGBTQ peers because they are constantly forgotten, ignored and marginalized. The video campaign launched by Dan Savage in wake of the recent suicides is called "It Gets Better," aimed at supporting LGBTQ youth who feel lost, alone and forgotten. But we cannot WAIT for it to get better. We, as individuals and as a community — the community at the University of Richmond — need to MAKE it better.
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