The shuffle on my iPod can predict the future. How's that for an opening hook? It all started way back in 2005, my freshman year of college.
People take themselves too seriously sometimes. Everything's so important, so crucial, so consequential. But with Spring Break mere hours away at this point, I'd like to drop all those pretensions of seriousness and just give you some recreational reading to get you excited before school breaks.
You never realize how life-shatteringly dependent we all are on our cell phones until you lose it for a few hours.
For those of you hoping to start your weekend out on the right foot, here's some good news to get you going: After four long years of silence, Blink 182 has decided to reunite and record a new album. At this point you've probably thrown this paper up in the air in celebration or your tears of joy have stained the pages, so I'll pause for a second to let you find a new copy. Got it?
I don't go to D-Hall too much these days. Blame it on the "trayless everydays" scare, the long lunch lines or maybe that the Mongolian Grill has lost much of its luster after three years.
In addition to making the prerequisite series of fart jokes in my opinion column each week, part of my job as your assistant opinion editor is to motivate you students to write in with your own thoughts, rants, points of view, secret teacher crushes, etc. There are two ways to do this.
The first hints of springtime after a long cold winter are always the most glorious of days. Like this past Sunday, Super Bowl Sunday nonetheless, with the sun poking out from the clouds and the temperature pushing seventy degrees. It was a great game, too.
It's spring semester, and that means we in the senior class are being harassed on an almost daily basis for donations to the class gift fund.
I was going to write a grand exposition on the Meaning of Life for my first column as your new assistant opinion editor, but instead I've decided to talk about the cattle auction channel. Have you seen this thing?