Nobel Prize Committee awards efforts to write an opinion pieceBy Zach Stewart | October 21, 2009
Two weeks ago (unless you're reading this in THE FUTURE), President Barack Obama was granted the Nobel Peace Prize for "efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples." This is the political equivalent of a parent sighing, "Well, at least he's trying," whenever their "special" child fails another test. Now, usually I try not to get very political because politics are hilarious and they quickly go out of date, but what gets written once on the Internet stays there FOREVER (which is why I can never be president myself). Today, however, I have to make an exception. If the Nobel Committee is giving out prizes for "efforts" to make world peace, then, damn it, I deserve a LOT more credit for all the crap I've been doing: "Efforts to finish my German homework." "Efforts to clean my room." "Efforts to make a Web site." "Efforts to write an opinion piece." "Efforts to be funny." "Efforts to be a productive member of society." And if that's the case then we have Oscar night all wrong!