Text Hall of Shame

(464): I need to be academic so I gotta figure out how to be drunk and efficient at the same time.

(540): Are you all coming tonight?

(304): No man, we've got the swine.

(267): I would rather set myself on fire than date you. ..also what are you doing tonight?

(351): he took my bag of wiiiiiiiiiiiiiine

(202): he just asked me if I had seen him on Animal Cops.

(651): hey it's that DHL guy that just picked up your package, i wanted to see if you'd like to meet up sometime, I figure you have a boyfriend but don't lose my number in case things don't work or if you wanna be friends