The Collegian
Sunday, May 12, 2024

How to enjoy the Snowpocalypse

With Thursday classes canceled and a projected up to 6 inches of snow, there are more than enough reasons for UR students to celebrate. The one dilemma left on everyone's minds: How to spend your day off and enjoy the largest snowfall of the year so far. Luckily, I'm here with some suggestions. Granted, this may not be the most realistic list of Valensnocalypse (Valentine's Day week plus snowpocalypse) activities, but it's certainly the most fun.

1. Snow forts

Anyone who grew up in a climate where it snows at least once a year knows the pure joy and total frustration of trying to build the most epic snow fort the world has ever seen. The adventure would always begin with grand visions of a fort with tunnels, turrets, interior lighting and maybe even a secret password to come in. After a reassessment of the amount of snow available, or perhaps after the first three ceiling collapses, the next step would be a slight adjustment of expectations: Maybe the snow slide leading to a basement level would do more to jeopardize the structural integrity of the fort than it would impress the neighbor kids. Three exhausting, soggy hours and two hot chocolate breaks later, you would be left with an uneven pit gated by wobbly chunks of the snowfall's icy top layer. And it would be as majestic as you always imagined it.

This year, there's good news. College has nourished your problem-solving abilities. You're big and strong like a grown-up, but it's still not super weird to play like a little kid. The-e aren't any concerned parents around to tell you that using four extension cords to run your TV and mini-fridge into the fort is a bad idea. Get out there and make a snow fort so epic it would make eight-year-old you cry. Then invite the neighbor kids over for some hot chocolate on its second floor-but only if they can guess the password.

2. Snowball wars

Here's another activity that, contrary to popular belief, can only get more fun with age. That one kid who always cried when they got hit has (probably) lost their braces by this point, and all those years of rage will have boiled down to one desperate desire to be the victor of the largest, most intense snowball fight ever. The Hunger Games movies have debuted since the last time most of us had a good, old-fashioned snowball fight, giving us all a deeper understanding of the intricacies of allegiances, truces and cruel betrayal.

I would like to propose this as the newest, one-day only intramural sport. Scrounge up a team, borrow some mittens, practice your snow-packing skills and get ready. No out-of-bounds, no mercy and only one rule: No aiming for the face. Seriously, that's still not cool.

3. Sledding

Remember when you used to sled down your barely inclined backyard at home on a cardboard box that you used to move houses? Try sledding down the hill from the library to the lake, or the super-duper curvy Boatwright Drive entrance on a D-Hall tray. Can you say sledding, level expert? Give in to that instinct that tells you sledding will still be fun. Because you know what? It's right. Think about it: pure adrenaline, no semblance of control, screaming with excitement, realizing you forgot to make a smooth recovery strategy for when you get to the end. Sounds kind of like the emotional roller coaster of our snow day! Enjoy!

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